WORDS OF WISDOM

I know it seems hard sometimes but,
Remember one thing...
Through every dark night,
There's a bright day after...
So no matter how hard it gets,
Stick your chest out...
Keep your head up...
And Handle it!

Tupac Shakur

It's time for us as the people to make a change...lets change the way we eat...sorry...i can't get enough of Tupac...Anyone wanting to get a feel for pure hostility...unchecked hatred...check out hit em' up by the man...anyway...was thinking about this...what is the difference between a best friend and a girl/boy friend...if its a long distance thing?

Took some time to actually get myself out of the situation to think clearly...and this is what i came up with...expectations...see the only thing that is different when you date someone as compared to being someones best friend...is the fact that there is an intimacy...and trust that goes with being in a situation like that and that...leads to expectations...the physical intimacy leads to emotional dependance...so yeah...the only way to do this...is to lose them...lose your expectations...and...hakuna matata

Everyone Needs a System

So you have a bad day...a bad coupla days...a bad week...it all depends on you...it's not that the whole world is trying to mess with you...it is that YOU are letting it mess with you...my advice is that as inviting as something might seem...it ain't worth it...so shut down...patch up and move on! The sooner you get it...the better it is for you....and hey AINT NOBODY WORTH LOSING SLEEP OVER

The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled Was Convincing The World He Didn't Exist


Date: Someday-I think March-1996
Time: Sometime in the morning

My history teacher comes into the room (CLASSROOM STD 10A), "Shaibala can I talk to Brijesh?" Shaibala said "Sure!" Kalyani said "Brijesh I can't seem to locate your final project did you turn it in to me?" Pulse raced, I knew I had nothing to lose, so why not right? NO! I've been trained not to lie, not to decieve, damn! what am i thinking, i have to answer Ms kalyani ! And so it began!

"Yeah Ma'am I did, you were standing by your office door and i handed it to you this morning."

Kalyani: "Ok let me go check again"

So yeah, that was it, i knew i had started a big mess!
You see all along I knew i had that damn history project, which was worth 20 points out of a total of 100 for my 10th board exams. The project sat in my bag while she looked, frantically, in her office, and probably everywhere she could look...
The thing was that I had done a disasterous job of trying to make a history project. I had tried, and failed, to burn the sides of the every page in that project book to make it look like it was an old manuscript. It wasn't...it was the ugliest thing you could imagine...
Why are we supposed to do those stupid things anyway? I know I'm not creative, so why try to make me creative, and end up making me look like a fool?
So yeah, I had turned in the project a couple days ago and she had turned it back over to us, after having taken a first look, so that we could make minor changes before it was given to the external grader.
She came back in an hour...
"Brijesh, I need you to look in your bag and check if it is still in there...I never misplace anything."
"No, Ma'am, it's not in my bag, [DAMN IF SHE COMES AND LOOKS HERSELF, IM DEAD], I'm sure i gave it to you..."
"Ok come out here!"
So i went out and waited, in the corridoor, sitting on a chair, outside the pricipal's office, while the external examiner, Ms Kalyani, and my principal had a discussion. Let me say this, it helps to have been a model student. So I waited, and taral came out and sat down with me, it was just the beginning of the lunch break, he waited with me, knowing exactly what was going on, and doing a great job of making everything look real. I don't remember if i had told him, or he just figured it out...but he knew...like only he could have. He looked at me, and he knew what i was doing!
And he just sat beside me, while people gathered around us, and asked me if everything was ok...and I had no words...with my head down, probably thinking that they had caught on and that everything was done, I had messed everything up, just for a stupid project...while just he sat there...

I had started to feel very scared...this was unheard of, the meeting went on for a long time...and it happened...the touch of GENIOUS...the one thing that could change the final outcome...I CRIED...It had to have been one of the greatest performances of any amateur actor's life...to sit there...and take in all the sympathy from everyone on that floor...and cry. WHILE HE JUST SAT THERE...

Finally, when they ended the neverending meeting...she looked at me...."Brijesh, you have three days, redo your project."

You will never believe it...it was the defining moment of this story...everything happened exactly according to the "no-plan" that i had going...so taral and myself..we got up and went to the restroom...we walked and looked at eachother...he was probably thinking that I had to have balls of steel to pull this....but i didn't...it was sheer luck....so we walked into the restroom...it was just me and him in there...
"HARAMI...", he said.
And we laughed...and laughed...because we knew the magnitude of the lie that we had just pulled...we had used up every bit of the goodwill that both he and myself had earned over the years with our teachers...and it had worked PERFECTLY!


Couldn't have done it without you man! Love ya

Ma

I was trying to think of a title for this post...i couldn't come up with the one word that describes this woman entirely...except for 'ma'

I know there are countless poems, endless number of songs, and story after story that exemplifies the fact that mothers are the only selfless people in the world. Their devotion to their children is unmatched and the depth of their love unknown.

I lived in minnesota with my mamu and mami, and every time i was late for school mami used to run her hands over my head to wake me up...it was such a great way to wake up in the morning...quite unlike the way my ma wakes me up...at home (INDIA) my bed is basically about 10 inches from the floor...my ma wanted to have one room which was totally indian...with the indian paintings and artifacts and beds that were on the floor...so yeah...for college she used to have to wake me up...because she was my alarm clock...i couldn't wake up if she didn't make sure that i had made the trip to that bathroom...one day she got tired of waking me up because she had to sit down every time and shake me until i responded...so it struck her that she didn't need to...she could easily do the same just by using her feet!!! My lazy ma....

I can say that I have loved my mom since i was a kid...and respected her because that's what we were taught to do as kids...but now when i look at my ma, i see her as a person....do you get what i'm saying? i mean...when i think about all the things that she has done...and gone through for myself and my sister...and my family for that matter...it just takes my respect for her to another level...i just talked to her over the phone...that's when i realized how much i miss her....she told me that she was just talking to her friend about me...her friend was saying that I was gonna get married and settle down in the states...because i had been here too long...she was teasing my ma....so my ma said now you answer her...and i did....I'm going back HOME in April!

I had the wierdest dream today just before I woke up...I was in pune and i was walking down a crowded street with i think my son. And we entered a small family store, and i can't remember what it was, i think it was maybe a fabric store. And i knew the guy there, I said hi and he was like wow i haven't seen you in a while...i was like what...i don't think i know you...and then i remembered that he had helped my dad in purchasing my first tennis racket. So i sat down and talked with him...i reminded him of all the things that he had helped my dad buy for me before they were readily available. I woke up...but i remembered him saying "You guys moved on...but i have stayed where i was"


Sorry i have no clue what to get out of this one either!

Behold I send you out as sheep amidst the wolves...

So I was watching by far one of my favorite movies, The Devil's Advocate. Now the reason it is my favorite is exactly why i am forced to write. It makes me think:

"Vanity...definately my favorite sin." Now what i am gonna say might be offensive to some so my apologies in advance. But vanity is everywhere! Human's are all about self love, instant gratification: the quick hit...me, Me, ME! The true test of love should be one's life lost for another...and that is hardly the case...in this world of self service, starbucks coffee, lean cuisine luncheons, instant car washes, and deadlines, we are drowned in ourselves, our own needs, our own requirements, and we forget that there is life beyond us...and all around us....some say that its the drive that makes you singleminded about your daily routine...but who is the drive for? what goal, what objective does this drive fulfill?

MORAL DILEMMA

So is lying cut and dry? I mean should you never lie? Is lying wrong period? Or is it that lying is relative, in that you could lie only when the situation demands it?

As is the case with a lot of us, our parents are the people who most influence the way we think and analyze situations. This is one of the subjects that i think i totally agree with my dad. We were sitting at a chinese restaurant in mumbai...when the topic of lying came up...and i asked my dad what he thought about it...i mean, i know that his moral belief's are very rigid so i figured that he would choose the high road and end the discussion by saying that lying is always wrong! But he suprised me, for the one time in my life i didn't know what my dad was going to say...he said, beta, you lie when you have to! I was like WHAT? DAD that's not you!

A little side note on my dad is that, he knows what he knows, he believes everything he believes very strongly...and that's that. You can try to put your point through but if dad has a certain way of thinking, you are not going to influence his way of thinking...morality, truth, and high standards of everything that is not material is what he lives for. But lately you can see the tranformation in the man...from a man who used to control everything...to a man who shows how much he cares about everything.

So back to my story, he said that the one thing that was more important than the absolute truth was people's feelings...so yeah...he said when you don't want to hurt someone you lie. The only problem with that is that it takes into account that the judgment of the person who is supposed to lie is assumed to be immaculate. And therein lies the dilemma...do you trust everybody else to know exactly the right circumstance in which they should lie? doesn't that vary from person to person? so there can't be a standard! so now there is no right or wrong either is there? it could be the right circumstance according to one and a totally wrong circumstance according to another! The question being HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME?

Here is a situation: you are getting ready to go out, and one of the girls you are going out with, be it your girlfriend, friend, mom, or sister asks you, "How do I look?" And the clothes she has on do not look that great. Whats your answer?

What do women want?

Just when you think you know...just when you are confident enough to make a bold statement to yourself...just when you think that the ice on that lake is not gonna be thin, because you have walked a while, and there is no way that it could betray you just before you reach a solid foundation...why? why don't you girls know what you think, feel, want? It's like yeah i know...no wait...back up, i'm not that sure....ok maybe i don't want this...whoh...wait what are you doing...i want it...i want it...damn, women....know what you want...in life, and yeah when you people drive, you need to know where you are going...you can't be indecisive...you can't be like...oh, we needed to take that exit...girl!!! the next exit is 5 miles away!!!! and yeah when you take us shopping, let us sit down on that bench in the mall, so we can do our thing...and yeah we don't want to give you a thorough description of the pants that you have on...NO!...all we say is yeah it's good or yeah it's good, so there...and don't ever, EVER stand in front of the TV....that's the worst thing you can do....when we drink beer...all we want is to CHILL..definately don't feel like dancing...WE DON'T WANT TO TALK....we want to shut up!!! the tv does all the talking that needs to be done...and I want my pants to hang from my butt...and there is a reason i wear them pants...COZ I LIKE LOOKING DIRTY...I DONT SHAVE, COZ I DONT WANT TO...HA....THERE I SAID IT ALL...and no I wasn't checking that chick out!

What a Day!

So i slept in...felt fresh in days...i was gonna get my car back today...i had told the guy that im thinking about selling this so fix the head lights, the door handle and the recurring sound from the front right wheel...so he called me yesterday and said that the sound was from the back wheel...yeah...i said fix it...and he did...it was gonna be much cheaper than i expected...so i go there ...and get my car...the sound is still f'ing very much there...so i have to go back again tomorrow...i was supposed to get some work done with a piece of equipment...but the guy who is supposed to sign me up for it tells me at 1:30 in the afternoon that he signed me up from 9 am to 4 pm...obviously, i couldnt go work so there...wasted day...i got a ticket for parking my car at the lot when i had a permit...some other stuff too, which i can't say much about...but the point being...what a shitty day.

Time to go and change it to a good one!

DOST

MY BOY IS A CA...The Rave/Ravi/GUJJU now a CA? Man time flies by! AWESOME NEWS RAVE...He's one of my best friends in aamchi mumbai. See, we are a closed knit unit of 6. I knew what we had as friends when i called one of them at 3 am on a sunday night and told them that my dad had not come home and that they had to come over so we could go look for him...my dad was actually stuck in traffic on his way from vasai, and there was no reception where he was. So twenty minutes passed and we kept calling my dad..my mom was really worried...and then they showed up...and right behind them my dad. Five of them walking in with my dad...it was just a coincidence that they met in the elevator...but you should have seen the smiles on their faces...when the walked in...like prize fighters, having just won the biggest one. Cocky son's of b....., whatever little of life that i saw in mumbai (as i moved here when i was 18) they were right behind me, covering my back. Be it the biggest lie of my life (more on that later), fist fights, love stories, girlfriends that they didn't get along with or coming here to the states...they always had my back. Now that's something you don't find everyday.
It all started with Taral...

Taral-I think we really hit it off on my first school trip to Rajasthan, back then my weekly crush was a girl called Ojas. And his was Shalini, Ojas's best friend at the time...So there we were....traveling on the train to rajasthan, where all the girls were in one little compartment...and all us boys were annoying them in one way or another...then it happened...

BOM BOM...BOM BOM...Do mastane chale zindagi banane

IT was a very famous song from an awesome movie...some of us still consider it to be the greatest comedy...Andaz Apna Apna. So yeah we sang, and sang, and sang into the wee hours of the night..until everybody in the train had walked by telling us how much they hated us at that moment in time...well, the two of us didn't care...we were having too much fun flirting with our crushes, and singing this funny ass song. INSTANTLY, we were like brothers; you know, you can just feel a special connection you have with someone, he's not big on communication...so we didn't communicate as much, but everytime i saw him at the airport, it was like i know YOU MAN...Inside, and OUT!!


Siddhi-Now here's a man for all you ladies...a commited man. This boy has been with his girlfriend for seven years now!!! SEVEN. He's the quiet one...the one who thinks more than he ever should...analyzes every situation, and really really feels. He's exactly liks sid (Dil Chahta Hain)...i'm suprised siddhi is in engineering...everything about him screams ARTIST. He's tough to get to know at first...but has a heart of gold. He's doing his MBA now...tell's me that he has changed...opened up a lot more than before...i can't wait to go back home to see what he has cooking...

Hemen/The HAM- The ham because he is the perfect gujju. He tries to be someone he isn't, be it his fake little accent...his new found dressing sense...or his new attitude: "I don't wanna CARE." But he cares the most...he is the one thing that keeps us together...if you guys think that i am a FILMY person...you should see him...We, actually his self proclaimed name is the GLUE of the group. We have been really close at times and moved a little farther away at times...but this time i think we have found a perfect spot...he moved to california from mumbai...and i went down there to go see him...and it was like when we first became really good friends...because I told him everything that i was thinking...even if i thought that he was lying to me about something...so i guess it is my fault that we did drift away ever so little...
Sitting in our Math Tutor's classroom...my gujju friend...said: Damn! have you heard about that new brand...TOMMY HIGHFLYER....we were almost thrown out of class because of his comment, actually because of the hysterical laughter that followed...


ASHUTOSH/PUNEA- Tall dark and handsome...they say....i think he's downright ugly...just kidding bhai...yeah, he's the older one...but not the wise one...the true player...be it his pimping maruti esteem...or his dancing skills...i think the one thing i really share with him is our love for cricket. You see he's the fast bowler...the true, true fast bowler...talks more than he can back up...(kidding)....but thats where it started with the two of us...in the tennis courts at the hood (GREEN ACRES)...we played every night...during the summers...and he talked all through it...only when i had something to say first though...but once i did...then he didn't stop. He'd be like: what do you do jack? what do you do?, every time he had the occasional pleasure of getting me out...one tappi that too...Big time movie buff...corny piece of shit...love ya man!

Finally the Rave: THE F'ing CA. He struggled through it more than i expected him too...but he made it and thats what counts...now he's is the practical one...a true problem solver...you see everytime any of us had a problem...we would meet up at rave's place and discuss it...he just had the right answer everytime...a "rapist wit," as was described in one of my favorite movie's. A girls best friend...be it any girl...haha. But yeah we used to study during the nights, actually we used to tell our parents that we studied through the night during our 12th board exams...but we were out every chance we got...or every time a stomach croaked...to go get some bhurji or pav bhaji...or for that matter have a run in with the cops...and hang out at the police thana...CONGRATULATIONS BROTHER

HARAMI'S I got all your backs! FOREVER!

Bachpan ki Yaadein Part 1

It is 5 am, and I can't sleep...so I guess i'm just gonna ramble on about my day...let's see...I just found out that I lost my freaking debit card...hold on...I used it at bestbuy today...did she give it back to me? I don't think she did...so i guess I haven't technically lost it...thats weird..just when I gave up and thought that I would just call fiifth third I remembered that I spent 5 dollars for my new handsfree kit (Read: Headset):-)...you know weird is a word that has been used a lot the last coupla months in my life...I guess you can say that I re-met a girl and things seem to be going ok...who knows right...yeah that brings me to something that I wanted to write about for a long time. WHO KNOWS WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT? Actually I'm not inspired enough to write about that subject yet...So lets see...I can talk about my middle school unattainable girl... but thats a long story...hmmm...if i was in india right now, my ma would wake up and walk to my sisters room, because thats where i would be sitting wnd writing this stuff...and be like vicky, kya kar raha hain itni raat ko...and i'd be like ma, i can't sleep and she would be like...soja soja, that reminds me of the times when i was in school and my sister and myself would sleep in the same room...we had to go to bed at about 10 pm and obviously thats when the fun started...the thing about my sister was back then was that she never ever knew that she loved me...so she behaved like that...and i was always the one to be like...rachu, neend aa rahi hain kya, shed be like, soja mom sunegi to bohot maregi...now that would be followed by ten minutes of total silence, and then the forbidden, vicky, mujhe neend nahi aa rahi, lets play something....you know rach you grew up pretty f'ing quickly...now all you do is tell me what to do...man, it was only about five years ago when that was in my job description....tsish, i can tell you a lot more about my sister and myself...she was the one who always did the things you were not supposed to do...she didn't study, i dont think i would ever forget the take ups that my ma used to have for my sister, for all you firangs, a take up is when you read, or mug up, or learn the ORDER OF THE TEXT in one given chapter, and then are orally tested on that chapter...now that was a sight to watch...you knew my sister didn't read anything within thirty seconds of the oral exam by my ma...and the humor in that situation was that everybody in that room, myself my ma and my sister knew that she hadn't learnt anything, but we PRETENDED for o about three minutes that she had...I must say i had my share of laughs...specifically that point and scream laugh...which was followed by the "VICKY GET OUT" which was then followed by the scene where my sister did a most magnificent job of showing my ma how much she had tried by crying....you know thats a skill she had mastered over time...that was her ace of spades...something she knew she could pull every time that she was cornered by my ma...but, just when she got comfortable with that routine....my ma caught on....

So who is the greatest of them all? What is greatness...isn't it the special something you EXPECT from someone...everytime the opportunity arises for that person...we had a discussion about the greatness of Sachin Tendulkar...now this man has done everything you could ever expect from him...some say that yeah he has done good things....but how can we forget the circumstances that this man alone has been through...from Indian teams where there was no concept of a team...to being thrust into the spotlight as the golden boy...to having the expectations of an entire nation resting on his small shoulders...for what about five, six years there was no semblance of match winners on our beloved indian cricket team...yeah there was the occasional fifty or even a century by batsman...but as I remember it the game was on till my boy sachin was still in the middle as soon as he got out...most of OUR collective expectations dropped....most times to expecting a loss...isn't that greatness...we say that brian lara and sachin are comparable...YEAH their cricketing records might be similar...but brian lara does not live in a country where cricket is the life blood...he plays for the west indies and the pressure that is associated with indian cricket is not even comparable to westindies cricket...where every innings is scrutinized by each and every person in the country and every indian is a born coach who knows what the right shot was to the ball that sachin got out too...this man has proved over and over again that he can be depended upon...I just want to say that we wont have the pleasure to enjoy this wonder boy's cricketing genius for too much longer...I say we thank god for the fact that this genius was born in our country...and thank him one more time for the fact that WE are lucky enough to be born during SACHINS ERA!!!...I say we sit back, relax, and watch this genious carve out his magic one more time!

CRICKET SEASON

A fit body will have a fit mind and unless you have trained hard it is always going to be difficult to think positively and to give proper expression to your skills.

Last season was fun, some awesome wins, some last minute losses, and plenty of humerous moments. Let's respect that, and move on, we have great things to look forward to, we have a new leader, Hari, I am sure he will do a great job. And we have Suneel coming back as our anchor. So let's do this, lets go out and win...no wait...let's go out and win now! I firmly believe that if you want to get better at anything, you have to work hard for it. I know what I'm proposing could be taken in many ways, as a joke, as something that dosen't make any sense...or something that you just shrug and let go. Well, that's the point...i think winning is an attitude...i want us to run, harder and faster than we did before, i want to make sure that when it is time to play that game we all love, that we are at our collective best...we will convert ones into two, two into three's we will hold on to every ball that ever goes up and we will be the most desciplined team there is on the field, and the closest knit off of it. So lets work on it now...let's do all the little things we can to get better...lets make sure that we all can look back to this upcoming summer and say "Now that was a TEAM."

Here's the question...Do you have to miss someone to actually know you love them? I've lived here about five years...and although this country has taught me many good things it has also slowly taken away the one thing we correlate with being Indian...dependancy...i just looked up the spelling of the word at dictionary.com and it came out to be: something dependant or subordinate...now ignoring the second part of that line...i think the meaning of that line sum's up everything i want to say...you can't really, truly rely on someone being there...so yeah i am independant...and yeah i dont miss people..i think i have learnt to move on quickly...almost expecting a bump in the road, another person taken away from your life...not because of any unforseen circumstance...but because...we are here...things change on a semester to semester basis...so how are we supposed to have that one best friend who will always be there with you and share with you every second of the minute, hour, and day. Am I cold? selfish? or simply practical? or maybe nothing at all...maybe im an Indian who has been in non-Indian conditions way to bleeping long!


Hey you know i'm playing right...I still love you all...

To paraphrase a line from the film Remember the Titans, which John Wright took his team to see before the 2001 series, Australia will always remember the summer Ganguly’s Indians invaded their island.

So, I'm sitting here thinking...well besides conjuring up ways to blow up this department...what are we doing, I mean, what are we striving for? YEAH, I KNOW: Money....hmm maybe, but that seems too low a thing to do, chase money...i dont know about that...WELL HOW ABOUT KNOWLEDGE: Yeah maybe, but knowledge is not for the sake of knowledge...most of us just want to learn more because it will probably put us in a good position later on in life...nice job, beautiful spouses, and fast cars...so what is it that we seek...what is it that we need...we want...ACCEPTANCE?...no, FRIENDSHIP?...no...I think i'm gonna say its COMPANIONSHIP...some thing, that will be there with you for a long time...maybe its a someone, then why is it that we even consider letting that someone, who might be "THE ONE" go? WHY NOT EMBRACE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE WITH THAT PERSON...AND STAND UP AND FIGHT...AND SAY THIS IS WHO I LOVE...THIS IS WHO I WANT...THIS IS WHO I NEED....THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SEEKING!

Now...i just got done typing...its probably the most i have typed in a while...id say since polymer engineering laboratory last year...the funny thing is 2003 is gone...i've been here almost a year and a half...and its just now that i feel like i belong...like people care for me...and to think i didn't know most of these people six months ago...i think it all changed sometime in july...when i felt like damn! i've been here in akron for about a year and i dont really have many friends...thats when it stuck...i had found the one thing, the one line that you look for to inspire your being...people! not me! you...that was it...i stopped thinking about my life about my problems...and started to make as many friends as possible...i've always been one to not make friends easily...make people come up to me and say hi...but i said....'bleep' it...i'll go up and do it differently...cricket came along...and i met a few really cool people...it was exciting to play with pads and in a league...i still remember the first match we played...it was in the beautiful hashlington ground and i went two down...the thing was, when i played for minnesota cricket club...and even in india...i always opened...never really thought about anything else...just wanted to be the steady one...and here they had two good openers...so i accepted my part...although i wanted to prove myself...yeah right...first ball duck... i dont know what i was trying to do...just went halfway onto the front foot and played uppishly....what was i thinking...to think i had to walk back towards a team i hardly knew...to people that didnt know me...with my head down...

I guess this is not for me...I might come back and try tomorrow...